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im thinking


 Life
 

Ever wondered why things happen good and bad life is very interseting and very consuming. My child hood was fairly horrific but why does it haunt so much at this stage life is so weird. Having someone near always some how soothes those nightmares. But why cant I just forget why cant I love life today is life worth while with so much pain so many memories so many hurts. Cant trust cant except cant forgive cant think cant live why? Whats happening who really cares look after your own life just go and dissappear. No one really knows how to help or do they really care once your gone your gone life carries on some saddness for a while but a new life begins IM THINKING or going mad.
Posted by Chris at 10:26 PM - 3 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Time heals
 

They say time heals all wounds they say if you truly love then hurts disappear quickly how much hurt can one bear. How much do you trust someone, how honest are you to be, what secrets do you keep if you love unconditionally is there any secrets does God know every thing, every thought every action and desire do we trust him 100%. I can't imagine keeping hidden secrets I believe they would eventually eat you up. When someone has an affair how do they still love their partner how do they still able to make love and enjoy it do they picture the other person or are they able to love both..... IM THINKING.
Posted by Chris at 11:39 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Relaxing
 

What is relaxing, is it going away on a desert island with absolutely no one around no mobile no work with the women of your dreams. Would you relax or would you think about work the kids what if some thing happened would any body find us. Maybe its just going away for a couple of days not far enough to worry about the kids they can find you if an emergency. I think you could possibly relax more under these circumstances. Not romantic enough possibly! dont know I think you can be romantic any where any time if you treat each other right. IM THINKING....
Posted by Chris at 12:09 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 I will love you always
 

The other day I looked into you eyes and drifted back to the first time we met your smile captured my heart your laughter brings joy to those who hear it. Your soft touch is like the cool breese in the mid day sun and your heart found a place for me. "I will love you always" But today I'm not so sure is that smile hiding terrible saddness is that laughter hidding happiness is that touch now for someone else. Is your heart now in a distant place as the tears roll down my face I can only say "I will love love you always". I'm so sorry for the hurts I have caused please forgive me. We promised we would love each other till death do us part, is that when we take our last breath or is it when our heart dies. I want you to be so happy because " I will love you always". You dont know how much pain you take away from my ears when I hold you close and listen to your gentle heart beat. We will never really know the depth of each others love but "I Will love you always". My one and only true love the pain I feel is unbearable at times but "I will love you always" Even if this love finally but becomes a dream my heart will always have a place for you. Am I dreaming, am I hopeing am I being stupid maybe IM THINKING
Posted by Chris at 8:21 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Time reveals the truth
 

My diary.
August 31st
Just got transferred with wor into our new home in Mount Isa Queensland. Nowthis is a city that knows how to live. Beautifull sunny days and warm balmy evenings what a place. I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah it was beautifull. I've finally found my home I love it here.

September 13th.
Really heating up got to 35 today not a problem. Live in an air conditioned home, drive an air conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

September 30th.
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks what a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th.
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this heat? At least today is kind of windy though. But getting use to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

October 15th.
Fell asleep by the pool, got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though, got yo respect the ol sun in climates like this.

October 20th.
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though no more pets in this heat.

October 25th.
The wind sucks it feels like a giant fuckin blow dryer!!and its hot as hell. The home air conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now bloody $300,000 house and we cant even go inside, why did I ever come here.

November 4th.
It's 38 degrees finally got the AC fixed today it cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25 but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like its about 30. Stupid repairman I hate this stupid fuckin place.

November 8th.
If another wise arse cracks "hot enough for you today" Im going to fuckin throttle him. Fuckin heat! by the time I get to work the cars radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin fuckin wet, and I smell like a baked cat!!.

November 9th.
Tried to run some messages after work, wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol car, I thought my fuckin arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my fuckin arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, friedarse and baked cat.

November 10th.
The weather report might as well be a fuckin recording, hot and sunny, hot and sunny. Hot and fuckin sunny. Its been to hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fuckin place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the fuckin pool. Even the palms cant live in this fuckin heat.

November 14th.
Welcome to HELL!!! temperature got to 41 today now the AC gone in my car, the repairman came to fix it and said "hot enough today?" My wife had to spend $2500 mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assulting the stupid fucker.
Fuck Mount Isa! what kind of sick demented fuckin idiot would want to live here?

December 1st.
WHAT????? this is the first day of Summer???? you are fuckin kiddin.

Time does reveal the truth but we only seem to think about now everything seems fine > Your first relatioship seems great but over time you need to start working at it BUT like the guy who moved to MT Isa and could just pack up and move on people in relationships do the same why dont we realise that the grass isnt always greener on the otherside why do we always look to fill that sadness. IM THINKING.
It's
Posted by Chris at 7:28 PM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 
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